May Conferences: The Verbal Pitch

One of the great things about conferences (at least from my POV) is the verbal pitch. Before you say, "I'm not signing up for the pitches. Too scary!" consider what a pitch actually is.

What is a pitch?

It's a quick "about" your ms.

So your new BFF you met during breakfast asked you what you write and you say, "I'm writing an Adult Cozy Murder Mystery about an erotic book club that gets caught up in the murder of the local strip club owner."

Congrats. You just pitched. A rather captivating hook, I might add.

In other terms, you don't have to talk to an agent in order to pitch. Every person you ever talk to about your book will be a pitch. Friends, editors, yes agents, and most especially prospective readers.

If your BFF asks for more info--or if you're in a pitch session with an agent--you'll need to expand on your pitch.

Character (remember, we need to care about this main character): Raised in the deep south by a conservative gun toting mother, Mary is qualified to do three things, fetch drinks for her husband, plan a party, and shoot a dime from fifty yards. So when her husband leaves her for the local strip club owner, Mary's lost. That's when her mother inducts her in her book club to loosen her up--it's an erotic book club and the women aren't shy about their opinions, at least not when they're drinking "ice tea" at ten in the morning.

Conflict (make it unique): When her ex's new squeeze, the local strip club owner, is murdered, fingers point at Mary as the culprit. She'll need all the help she can get from her new friends to find the killer, clear her name, and steer clear of the sexy detective who looks way too much like the main character in the club's latest read.

Set this baby in the deep south and you've got a winner I can't resist. (and in my head, this is a cozy--meaning closed door "romance" if there is any at all. I'm having too much fun with making stuff up)

Okay so you have the basics. Hook. Character. Conflict. You need your own credentials--the author bio part. Word count if asked, genre, comparables, etc.

That sounds like a query!

No kidding!

It has all the same dynamics. But it isn't a query.

You heard that, right?

Your pitch IS NOT your query.

Your query will have intricate sentences to include information and flow and demonstrate your writing capabilities. Your pitch needs to be easy to swallow. In other words, if you're having a hard time memorizing it, throw away the paper. Pitch everyone. Pitch the air. Until you can talk about your ms smoothly without memorizing complicated sentences. Try pitching your favorite books to your friends--you'll find that you're not repeating the back cover blurb word for word.

If I were pitching the above erotic book club murder mystery, I'd use that as my template. To myself I'd think "hook, character, conflict" and stick to those guidelines. Then practice pitching it until I find something that flows well and is easy to say (I do the same thing with projects I'm pitching to editors, and family, and friends, and colleagues--I'm constantly gauging interest and the best way to capture attention). 

For example, pitch The Hunger Games. "It's set in a futuristic world where the government punishes the districts--like states--for a rebellion in the past. They draw a lottery in which one girl and one boy from each district between twelve and eighteen have to compete in a televised event where they have to kill each other. The last person standing wins and gets money and prestige." That's the very quick pitch, and usually no one needs anything more because it's so cool! But of course, in a real pitch you'd talk about Katniss and her sacrifice and struggles and whatnot. But the point here is, Don't memorize your pitch. And for the love of Herman Melville, don't read it. I'll allow it, I won't kick you out of the session, but put the tiny bit of effort in. It goes a long way.

Your know your ms better than anyone. Talk about it. Without rambling of course. Stay within the confines of a query, without quoting your query. A pitch should be less than 90 seconds. A quick pitch should be less than 30 seconds.

So what's the point of a pitch? Why can't I just send the query? Because I usually get more out of a face-to-face pitch than I would from a query. I can ask questions. Get info out of you I won't get in a query. And if your query/pitch isn't working, you can ask for advice and I'll give it to you. That's why I'm there, after all. And if there is something about your pitch I like, I'm more likely to request than if I were just going through my queries (my rejection rate in queries is way higher than at conferences).

Remember, I'm collecting FAQs about conferences.

Happy pitching!

March Madness: Are you a victim of the Duh Factor?

The Duh Factor is something that, when read, can be answered by a rolling of the eyes and the teenage favorite "duh." Generally speaking, you do not want the Duh Factor in your query, ms, or pitch. Duh Factors can also be spotted if, when someone reads them, they can make a snarky comment that completely nullifies everything you were building up. For example, if your hook begins, "If a genie offers you three wishes, would you use them?" I can answer "No," and that's it. Your entire premise is bunk.
 

Examples of the Duh Factor:

• Rhetorical questions:
• What would you do if the fate of the world rested on your shoulders?
• If you were given a time travel machine, would you use it?
• If you had a choice between what you wanted and sacrificing everything you've ever known, would you do it?
• Inane statements:
• Stephanie never asked to be given super powers
• Lucas never wanted to be King but fate intervened
• Things never went Susan's way
• Vague statements or questions:
• Imagine what would happen if a young boy is suddenly transported to a world unlike he's ever known.
• Rocko's life is about to change in a really big way, and he won't see it coming.
• Obvious dialogue:
• Brian walked into the room. Sue was surprised to see him. "Brian," Sue said. "I'm surprised to see you."
• "I see you are drinking coffee with sugar. I know you always need your coffee in the morning before work."
• "Darcy, meet my friend Liza. We've known each other since second grade. She really likes cheese. You will like her."
• Redundancy:
• Dark Moon is a YA fantasy that will appeal to adolescent readers who like being transported to new worlds
• Red Desert is a NA mystery that will appeal to older teens 18-24 who enjoy mysteries
• Teddy Bear Gruff is an easy reader targeted towards kids 3-6 just learning how to read
• Normal (not "normal") characters:
• Becky is a sarcastic, bitter 17 year old girl
• Edgar is a quiet but sensitive bad boy who isn't interested in any of the shallow girls at school, until Amy, the pretty new girl, shows up
• Paul will do anything to save his family from the corrupt government, even if it means sacrificing himself

Even as I was writing these, I was making snarky comments, snorting through my nose, and prepared to smash my own screen in frustration.

I know I'm missing some. So, please, share your own!

Happy writing!

February Requests

Last month was query month. This month, I'll talk about specifics once your ms full or partial is requested. This will cover email etiquette, stalking etiquette, formats for submitting, what to do while you wait, etc.

But first, I want to reiterate something I mentioned in my Query FAQs. I calculated a .19% chance of being signed from the slush pile. But then I negated all of that awesome math with this:

HOWEVER. If your query is captivating, you've done your homework, your writing is solid, your characters unbelievable (in a believable sort of way), and your plot rockin, you will get noticed and signed. Which is to say, it's not about luck at all--it's about passion, dedication, and skill.

Are you guys getting sick of people telling you to keep persevering? If at first you don't succeed, try, try again? People say it, because it's true. As callous as it may sound, if you're not being published, it's because you're not ready, because your writing isn't at the same level as those who are getting published. But that's not to say you can't get there. Or that published authors haven't been where you are now.

Also, remember. If you're at this stage, your query is getting requests, that means agents like your idea. Your pitch. You. That's half the game (maybe an eighth). Coming up with an idea to captivate your audience.

Happy writing!

Query Homework

Tomorrow I'll post my January Query post on what to include in a query.

Today I want to direct your attention to an awesome new contest blog, Cupid's Literary Connection, that John Cusick and I just participated on--a love triangle contest--not about love triangles. We battled each other for the best entries.

The reason I'm talking about this instead of my planned January Query topic, is because I'm giving you homework. Go to Cupid's site here and check it out. Read the entries. See the comments. And see which ones John and I picked. It's a great insight into the agent mind and what we're looking for.

Also, the queries are written well and are all to the point (exactly the sort of query I love). It's also a great opportunity for you to try out your query and get feedback. Look for future contests. Next month is Blind Speed Dating (just got your interest, didn't it?).

Happy writing!

January Query Time: What it's not

Now we now why a query is important and what it is. But what isn't it?

It's not:

• A synopsis
• An apology
• Begging
• A mass letter
• One line asking the agent to look at the attached materials
• Two lines asking if the agent is accepting queries
• Three lines asking what sort of genres the agent accepts
• Unaddressed
• A business letter
• A letter to a friend
• A solicitation
• A complaint
• An opportunity to sell me your self-pubbed book
• An opportunity to brag
• An opportunity to blame
• An opportunity to whine

Wow, that was actually a lot of fun.

Next week, I'll go over what to include in a query and what not to include. If I don't cover something vitally important or you'd like a clarification, please leave a comment.

Happy writing!

January Query Time: What it is

I'll spend more time on this next week, getting down into the particulars. But for an overview...

A QUERY IS a brief overview of your manuscript, a back cover blurb, designed to intrigue an agent or editor to read more, and can incorporate important highlights of your author bio.

Imagine you're looking for a job.

Haunting, I know.

You put together your resume, cover letter, and list of job opportunities. Sounding familiar? Your query is, in essence, an application.

Now, imagine you're in HR looking to hire a new employee. You have one job available and 500 applicants (we're in a recession, aren't we?). 450 go into the immediate NO pile because they're not qualified, the job is wrong for them, or something about their first few lines just turns you off. The remaining 50 dwindle after a closer look, probably for many of the same reasons above, they just weren't that obvious on the surface. Say you call 10 people back. Three never respond, one can't make the interview. 6 are left. You interview them. Maybe a second interview. Maybe you have another colleague interview them as well.

If you're lucky, one of those candidates are exactly what you're looking for. So you hire them.

How long does the average employer spend on each application if they have a stack just staring at them? Not long.

On Thursday, What a Query Isn't.

Happy writing!

January Query Time--Importance of the Query Letter

It's a new year. Let's start with the basics.

Okay, not the basics. The basics are sentence construction. I might be inclined to rant about the misuse of semi-colons every now and then, but otherwise I leave that to your first grade teacher.

We all know how important a query is. Most of us know what it is. Some of us know what it is not.

This month will be broken down into sections. Next week: what it is and what it is not.

Today: the importance

• It gets your foot in the door. Agent reads. Agent likes. Agent requests pages. Another post for another day.
• Demonstrates your knowledge and use of proper sentence and paragraph construction.
• Demonstrates your ability to structure ideas in a concise form.
• Demonstrates your ability to follow direction.
• Shows that the ms has unique characters and complete plot.
• Proves you know how to sum up your book and describe it in the most market-friendly way.
• Unless you're just really naturally good at it, a good query will show the agent that you've spent time and effort on the process. You're someone we want to work with.

And all that without you having to TELL us any of that. Amazing what a little SHOW can do, right?

Happy writing!

When has an agent had my partial for too long?

From when I was gone, I asked you, the lovely reader, to ask me questions and/or suggestions for future blog posts. I'm back. I'm (mostly) caught up with work. And now I'm answering your questions in segments. And asking for more questions. Here's the time to find out all you can about the agent (remember most everything is subjective and does not apply to all agents). 
 

If an agent requests a partial of your ms, how long should you wait before following up? Firstly, check the agent's website for specifics. Most reply in 6-8 weeks. But some don't send rejection letters (in which case, assume it's a no).

The question was, can I ask the agent about it after six months? Answer: The agent has already moved on. But yes, you can follow up. You can do it after two or three months. But please, don't do it within two months. Personally, sometimes I'll let them build up then tackle them all at the two month mark (sometimes it's the only way, though I hate doing it).

And please DO NOT email and say "well, since I haven't heard back I'm assuming it's a no, thanks for taking a look anyway I guess." It doesn't make a good impression and we'll roll our eyes at you (we are immune to the sad puppy face. Just email very nicely and ask if the agent has had a chance to take a look and has received the materials (sometimes, for whatever reason, the cyber trolls eat your emails). If you don't get a reply to that email, then sit quietly. We have probably taken note of your email but were too busy at the time to respond, or chose not to respond.

Happy querying!

Rejection Rate take 2

This past month, starting on Dec 13 and ending today Jan 13, I've kept track of queries responded to, rejected, and requested.  In the past month, I have responded to over 300 queries.  Based solely on the query, I rejected 72% of those.

Wow do I feel like a sucker.  Some writers out there got creative and just plain good at query letters.  A few months ago, I reported my rejection rate at 86%.  However, what isn't good news, is the amount of full manuscripts I have requested based on those partials (20-50 pages depending on my mood): I'll give you a hint.  It's less than five.

Those number still sounding really high to you?  Freaked out?  Ok, here's an example that will hopefully put it into perspective for you.

Imagine you are in a bookstore.  How many books are in there at any given time?  10,000?  Ok, let's go with that number.  You are roaming the shelves.  One in every one hundred you pick up to read the back cover blurb.  One in every ten of those might sound interesting.  You leave the store with one book.  That's basically what agents do.  Except we wade through stuff that isn't ready to be published.  Most of the time though, it simply doesn't intrigue us.  There are plenty of books on the shelf I gloss over because they just don't interest me.

Here are a few personal things about me as an agent, since it may be unclear elsewhere.

• I do not represent Middle Grade.  YA for me begins at roughly 15, as long as the character has an "older" voice (meaning they don't sound MG).  
• I do not represent Women's Fiction.  I do however, represent Paranormal Romance which is a subgenre.
• I do not represent Literary Fiction.  We do, however, have fabulous agents at the agency who do.
• I do not represent Mystery/Crime or Thrillers.  Cozy Mysteries, however, have a special place in my heart.  Mix Mystery/Crime/Thrillers with paranormal and I'm a happy camper.
• "road trip" -  reminds me of the very acidy trip Where the Buffalo Roam.   So it's a no.
• I don't do "sub-real" or "experimental" or anything else that can describe Gravity's Rainbow or House of Leaves. You will, actually, make my day a little worse if you mention them.
• Chuck Palahniuk.  See above.  His stuff freaks me out.  And not in a good way.  (great respect for all four authors and books, it just isn't my cup of tea)

Here are a few pointers to add to my previous post's list.

• I love when writers are trying to build a platform with their websites.  But DO NOT tell me hi, include the link, and expect me to go there.  Still gotta include the query.  And word to the wise, if you have sample chapters on your site, and I'm feeling generous, I will take a look--so keep that in mind if you have no idea why you are getting rejected.
• Passive voice.  Avoid it.  Especially in your query.  If you use it in your query, you probably aren't aware of it, and therefore it probably runs rampant in your ms.  Dead give away.
• Don't rely only on spell check (ms or query).  Have someone take a look at it and careful of your homonyms.
• Very briefly, if you are a debut author, keep your word count within the confines.  I won't look at 280,000 words.  Querying a novel like that only marks you as someone who doesn't know what they are doing.  In the same vein, I'll do the same to a word count I feel is too low.  I like long books, so usually anything under 60,000 words sounds too short to me (actually, 60,000 words sounds too short to me, but I won't judge if the genre is right).  (good guidelines here)
• Please distinguish your genre very clearly, especially between YA and MG.

Starting this month, every month, on the lucky 13th, I'll report my rejection rate and a few pointers I picked up from query letters that month.  I will not directly reference any query letter nor will I take direct wording.  I respect your privacy as a writer and strive to keep that confidence.  These are general tips meant to benefit everyone.  On a happier note...

Happy writing!

Trump Cards

Every person has their quirks.  Agents, me especially, are no exceptions.  So if you think you have something that gives your ms an extra little kick, make sure to include it in your query.  If your character rides around on ostriches and her sole purpose is to rid the world of evil squirrels, you might want to add that in there. 

Here are a few trump cards from published novels and reasons I couldn't not read the books:

• The term "killer unicorn."  Enough said.
• Pairing Abraham Lincoln with Vampires or Jane Austin with Zombies... priceless (don't try this though, Seth Graham Smith is a genius, and I personally won't look at your query if you do it)
• Really depressing endings--usually killing off the main character's love interest--will actually make me really happy.  It does, however, have to be done well.  Really, really well.  But don't kill off your mc, I can't sell it, and that will make me sad.  (Of course, you can't say that in the query, please don't give the ending away.)
• I picked up this book based on the title alone: "Twenty Boy Summer."  And it was a great read.  Analyzing the confusing aspects of today's society's dating methods and boy/girl relationships (especially when someone has died--because that's just morbidly depressing and a great story line) and dealing with grief, gets me all atwitter--I am a single 22 yr old after all, and that is the stuff of life

However, even the littlest thing can turn an agent off.  Here are a few don'ts from me:

• If you compare your ms to Gravity's Rainbow I will not continue reading your query
• If you aspire to write the next Twlight , I will laugh and toss you out a window
• If you read Moby Dick in your spare time because it is "riveting, exciting, and the best novel of all time," I will personally feed you to a killer whale
• The term "love at first sight" might kill me--please don't chance it, my death will forever haunt your writing career

Each agent has her trump cards and turn offs.  You might get lucky by accidentally appealing to them, or might have met them in person and know what they like.  Look for clues on their website or in their agent picture.  Analyze their favorite books.  What do they have in common with your manuscript that will appeal to them?

Happy writing!

A Day in the Life

Great news!  I'm officially an Agent in training now!!!  A lot of my duties are the same, I'm just learning more.

We all know how busy agents can be, especially if they have other things going on: teaching, conferences, editing, training, meetings, life.  So they have us lowly interns/agents-in-training wading through their slush pile to dig up the best stuff.  We use our knowledge as readers to find what will appeal to a large audience of readers, when a query letter shows us that the writer has not bothered to research the publishing process, when a query letter proves that the writing simply won't be good, and what just works.

So an intern is in charge of all of this stuff, the lacky for the busy agent.  I'd like to, however, dispell the notion that we have no lives.  Let me walk you through my typical day.

7:30 wake up, eat breakfast, go for a run, shower, dress.

8:30 sit in front of my computer and read my emails, quickly check the agent's inbox for any emergency got-to-get-to-it-now emails.  Write a blog, catch up on blogs, check out Twitter and Facebook and publishing news.

9:30 (yes the above step takes that long, usually longer) wade through the queries and read partials.

11:00 (if I'm in the mood) write for an hour.  Have lunch.

12:00 read partials and full manuscripts, answer those texts from people that just can't be ignored (I get in trouble if I ignore my best friends too often, even though, technically, I'm at work!)

2:00 (sometimes I switch the schedule depending on urgency of material) work on my long distance learning course in which I learn how to Index.  It's tedious and if I'm not careful this time period turns into a nap.

3:00 read more manuscripts, answer emails, get restless (if it's sunny I tan on the porch with a manuscript)

5:00 eat dinner, dress

6:-midnight work at my "real" job where I actually get paid.  Minimum wage, but I have bills to pay.

And hopefully I can wake up the next morning early enough to get all my stuff done.  I've talked to the other interns, and we are in agreement: if we are not feeling able to focus clearly or are in a sour mood, we will set aside queries and partials until our heads are clear and we can give the attention each submission deserves.  Your beloved babies are in the best of hands, I assure you.

So, if it takes us six weeks to get back to you, it is neither good nor bad news.  It simply means we were busy.  We want to give the best attention to your work.  Of course, sometimes I've replied to writers within the hour.  It simply depends what is eating away at our schedule.

Don't despair, trust in the literary gods above, and happy writing!

Learning More

I love being a newbie in this business.  Everyone is so friendly and so helpful.  A few weeks ago at the PNWA conference, everyone who found out I was going to be an agent one day congratulated me on it and (besides telling me how hard a job it is) said how much fun it was going to be.

I've said it before, I'll say it again.  I'm new to all of this: blogging, tweeting, essentially using the internet for social networking besides facebook and email.  The person that has been most helpful in this is Katie Flanagan, another intern at Andrea Hurst Literary Management.  She encouraged me to start my blog, was my first follower (yay! followers!), and helped me set up Twitter.  And now I've learned that you can generate more publicity by holding contests.  Contests!

Check out her blog and twitter for more information: http://katieflanagan.wordpress.com/

Is there no end to what blogging can do?

While I'm on this soap box about how great learning is, I'd like to repeat part of my blog from yesterday.  Read the blogs!  I am, and as an intern and future agent that will control you life (cue evil laugh), knowledgeable about everything.  I am all powerful and wise...  Ok, I've recently learned I am not.  Queries for example, I've read a good five thousand of them in my four months at the agency (I didn't count but I wouldn't be surprised if it were more and I really don't think I'm exaggerating).  I thought I knew what to look for.  I could certainly spot a good query when I saw one.  Well, ready to learn more?  Check out Query Shark, a great resource for learning how to fine tune your query and get past the first hurdle: http://queryshark.blogspot.com/

What else have I learned lately... O yes, the best thing in life is taking my pencil, a manuscript, and working on my tan in our beautiful summer weather.  So, go learn things, get away from the computer for an hour, and soak up some Vitamin D.  Happy writing everyone.