Grammar Manners: Plural or Singular

Since we all love Mondays and we all love Grammar and the minutes of writing, Mondays are hereafter dedicated to things we'd rather leave in the dark. Might as well start the week with a kick in the pants. I'll bring to you common mistakes I think writers should just know. Tips will range from first-grade knowledge of the English language to Master's Degree expertise. 


I recently received this question:

"Do you refer to a band or a crowd (multiple people) as a single entity or multiple entities?"

Answer: A band or a crowd is a single entity, even though it is made up of many entities. So you would say "The crowd is getting rowdy" rather than "The crowd are getting rowdy."

For many verb-subject agreement in number, just read it aloud and you will hear which one to use, like the above crowd example. No English speaking native would make the mistake of saying "The crowd are". In this instance, the subject is clear: "crowd".

But the real trick is deciphering which is the true subject (only then do you get to decide whether the subject is singular or plural).

Consider our sample sentence with "people" instead of "crowd."

"The people are getting rowdy."

Yes, "people" are plural. But if you combine them together:

'The crowd of people is getting rowdy."

Whoa! The true subject here is "crowd", not "people." I could get way more technical, but let's keep it simple, shall we? Because things can get really complicated after that. For example, money is always singular (Two million dollars is a lot of money), "everyone" is always singular (Everyone has more money than me), two separate nouns is singular if they can be considered a unit (Fish and chips is best with beer batter), a singular object followed by a plural modification is always singular (The bear, as well as her new cubs, is in good health).

As long as you know your basic sentence structure (subject, verb, etc) you should be able to identify the subject, and from there whether it is singular or plural. If in doubt, Google it! Or invest in a good Grammar guide. I refer to "When Words Collide" if I don't feel like Googling it. It lives on my desk just above my computer. It also makes for fun reading when I'm bored!

Happy writing!

Grammar Manners: Prepositions

Since we all love Mondays and we all love Grammar and the minutes of writing, Mondays are hereafter dedicated to things we'd rather leave in the dark. Might as well start the week with a kick in the pants. I'll bring to you the mistakes I see all the time as an agent (or just a concerned English Major) and things I think writers should just know. Tips will range from first-grade knowledge of the English language to Master's Degree expertise.

borrowed from Corner LOL

Question: Are we allowed to end sentences with prepositions?

Answer: Who the hell cares?

Okay, somebody cares. I never give this much thought. It goes under the umbrella of "write well", which is self-explanatory, right? Right? Er... Well, not once when editing or reading mss did I think, "This could be a best seller, if only that sentence didn't end with a preposition."

The "rule" never end a sentence with a preposition is completely misleading. Because it is extremely simple to fix, you simply end the sentence with something else. See image to the right.


Okay, so before we continue on, let's answer a related question (that, btw, no one has asked me... the writers get cookies).

Question: What is a preposition?

Answer: Anything an evil squirrel can do with a box. (Warning: the image below may contain violent content and may not be suitable for young children, women who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant, anyone with heart or nervous disorders.)

borrowed from Outside My Window

In, Out, Around, Over, Under, Through, etc etc.

The Preposition Song, sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle (and find a full list of Prepositions here):

above, across, after, at,

around, before, behind,

below, beside, between,

by, down, during, for, from,

in, inside, onto, of,

off, on, out, through,

to, under, up, with

Well, okay, that's all fun. Now we know what a preposition is.

That's half the battle. Look at a page in your manuscript. Are all of your sentences ending with prepositions? Does an evil squirrel show up every time your plot needs some excitement? Does every one of your characters lift an eyebrow to show emotion? My point being, you need variety and you need to be self aware of everything you do. Know the rules so you can break them.

Happy writing!

Fortune Cookie Friday: Confucius Say

Fridays always feel like Chinese food sort of days, and what's takeout without a fortune cookie? Thus, Fridays will bring you tips, tricks, advice, and some riddles that might apply to everything but will turn a light bulb on in your head (or maybe I just like talking like Yoda).


Confucius Say
Some Sex Is Good...More Is Better...Too Much Is Just About Right 


Yeah, okay Confucius, maybe if you're a fifteen year old boy or writing erotica.


Just because your sex scene is oh so delicious, doesn't mean it belongs where your put it. Or at all. Mind your genre and your audience. Always ask yourself, what is the purpose of this scene? If the answer is, "to make a shit-load of money like Fifty Shades," either you're on the right path, or waaay turned around.


Happy writing! 

Monday Madness: Objects vs Humans

Since we all love Mondays and we all love Grammar and the minutes of writing, Mondays are hereafter dedicated to things we'd rather leave in the dark. Might as well start the week with a kick in the pants. I'll bring to you the mistakes I see all the time as an agent (or just a concerned English Major) and things I think writers should just know. Tips will range from first-grade knowledge of the English language, to Master's Degree.

Quick shout out to Gina who mentioned this in the comments last week. It was on my list of things to discuss, so I moved it up because it is a very important thing for writers to be aware of. :)

WHO vs THAT

Which of the following sentences are correct?

1. Roger is a serial killer that kills only bad people.
2. Rapists, murderers, and drugs dealers are all people who deserve to die.
3. The justice system is an outdated system who doesn't always work.
4. Sometimes we need to resort to new measures that keep our streets safe.

 Two and four are both correct; one and three are incorrect.

When referring to a person, you have to use "who". The subject of sentence 1 is "Roger", and Roger is a person--not a "that", so the correct sentence would read, "Roger is a serial killer who kills only bad people". Likewise, in sentence 2, "rapists, murderers, and drug dealers" are people, so they also get the human treatment of "who".

Don't agree? Consider the following (I'm borrowing from Gina because it is a very good example): "I like girls who aren't obsessed with themselves." Would you argue that "girls" is actually an object? Well, I sure hope not!

Let's beat a dead horse, shall we? As long as it's one that doesn't stink up the place!

When referring to an object, use "that." In sentence 3, the subject is "justice system," which of course is an object. The correct sentence would read, "The justice system is an outdated system that doesn't always work." And in sentence 4, the subject is question is "measures," also an object.

You might notice I avoided using "pronouns" and "possessive" and all that technical jargon. Bleh. My job isn't to scare you off. In this instance, it's very easy to remember: human or non-human.

It might get fishy if we start talking about zombies though... Human? Non-human?

I cut off the head of the zombie that tried to eat my flesh.
or
I shot a hole in the head of the zombie who was chomping on my best friend.

I think in this case, it depends whether you or your protagonist is sympathetic towards zombies. Likewise, I'd probably refer to my dog as a "who" but refer to a random wildebeest as a "that."

It's all about context. And knowing the rules before you can break them. As Grammar Girl says here, you might talk about your evil step mother, "the woman that married my father" if you really don't like her, whereas you'd talk about your "sweet mother who divorced my father."

Agents won't immediately write you off for mistakes of this caliber, but if we see them constantly, in every paragraph, we start suspecting a lazy writer that didn't bother to learn their grammar manners (see what I did there?!).

Happy writing!

Fortune Cookie Friday: Straight Jackets

Fridays always feel like Chinese food sort of days, and what's takeout without a fortune cookie? Thus, Fridays will bring you tips, tricks, advice, and some riddles that might apply to everything but will turn a light bulb on in your head (or maybe I just like talking like Yoda).



(In honor of NaNo...)

Confucius Say
A Tattoo is permanent proof of temporary insanity.  

And a book, also a fairly permanent thing (a tattoo of the soul?), must be proof long-term insanity.


Take from that what you will.


Happy writing!

Monday Madness: Definitely vs Defiantly

Since we all love Mondays and we all love Grammar and the minutes of writing, Mondays are hereafter dedicated to things we'd rather leave in the dark. Might as well start the week with a kick in the pants. I'll bring to you the mistakes I see all the time as an agent (or just a concerned English Major) and things I think writers should just know. Tips will range from first-grade knowledge of the English language, to Master's Degree.

Definitely vs Defiantly

I used to do this all the time. Thanks to Microsoft Word, my "definetly" was auto-corrected to "defiantly." I see the switch on occasion in query letters and manuscripts, but most often on Facebook from my non-English major friends.

Definitions:

def·i·nite·ly/ˈdefənitlē/

Adverb:	Without doubt (used for emphasis): "I will definitely be at the airport to meet you". In a definite manner; clearly.

Definition for defiantly: Web definitions: rebelliously: in a rebellious manner; "he rejected her words rebelliously". Use it in a sentence: Due to Sandra's gangreene, her leg would definitely have to be chopped off. Sandra screamed defiantly as Tom held her down and I approached her with the sterilized saw. Hope everyone had a happy and safe Halloween! Happy writing!