Bad bad bad query

A few days ago, I reported my rejection rate in a blog post, as well as a few reasons why queries get rejected straight off the bat.  One reason being the "bad bad bad query."

What makes a "bad bad bad query"? one reader wanted to know.  I'll share my super scientific, exact measuring and weighing system.  Okay, I don't have an exact measuring system for bad bad bad queries.  What I do have is the "ick factor."  Also known as the "Vickie's brain just got utterly scrambled by your query, therefore, after a brief therapy of carbs and Gilmore Girls, she will reject you factor."

A bad bad bad query has most of the following elements (add or subtract a few):

• does not include a proper greeting
• it's obviously a mass email because the sender neglected to hide the bccs
• over or under stretches on the hook
• does not properly describe the characters and plot
• does not explain the conflict in the novel
• does not include contact information or even the sender's name
• I am left not knowing what they are pitching (new ms, self published, what?)
• I have read it five times and still don't know what it's about

Basically, a bad bad bad query defies every query writing rule known to man.  A huge step of the writing process is research.  If it's a memoir, you spent your entire life (literally) researching the material for your book.  Historical fiction, you probably spent a good deal of time in libraries, getting a master's degree, surfing Wikipedia.  Mystery novel, you at least found out the best way to kill someone with a cocktail olive.

All that research, and you neglect to research how to write a query letter?  Your researching job is not finished.  Keep going.  And once you hook that agent, she is going to send you after more research (comparables ring a bell?).  So your job as the researcher is never finished.  You get to prove your competence as a writer through the query letter.  First impressions and all that.  Don't screw it up.

Happy (query) writing!