March Madness: It's an Informal Formal Business

I once said that the query is not a business letter. Apparently I confused some people. Because the query letter is a formal introduction of oneself to an unknown but desirable party, and one must impress. But it's not super formal because... well, I'm betting most of you don't get out of your pajamas until the kids come home from school.

By nature of not personally knowing the person you are querying (like cold calling), you must be respectful. Which leads to formal. So, business formal (like business casual, but with better pressed pjs--er, pleats).

But I don't want to talk about queries. I did that in January (if you missed it, this dandy little thingy over here ---> has an archive of past posts, so look for January Query topics).

What I love about this business--the wonderful world of words--is that it is rather casual. At what other sort of conference will you be stopped on the way to the bathroom to be pitched? (by the way, May's topic shall be conferences, but as forewarning, please try to refrain from stopping agents on the way to the bathroom--and don't pitch in the bathroom)

We are all equal parts artists, business men and women, and fan girls (yes, boys, you too). The trick is to balance all three, to know when to bring them out and when to reign them in. Queries, Twitter, phone calls, conferences, blogs, chat boards, etc. You are always being watched, and judged. If you are too formal all the time, seeing every connection only as a means to the top, you won't be well liked. If you're only a fan girl and way too silly all the time, you won't be taken seriously. If you only care about your art, feeling that it will sell itself and therefore you don't have to put any effort into marketing it or yourself, you won't be noticed and probably tossed aside as, again, un-serious.
 
So this is really what I mean when I say that a query isn't a business letter (though it is) or that conferences are really casual (even though we're all conducting business). 

Strike the balance. Play the game. Find a happy harmony. And take a really long nap when you get home.

Happy writing!

February Requests: The Nudge

Your query was successful. Congratulations! So, the agent asks to see a partial/full ms and you send it off in the requested format with a short note included either in the email thread or with a proper subject line (see links if you haven't been following my February Requests series--FAQs to come Tuesday).

Then you wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And.... wait.

Step away from the Girl Scout Cookies.

How long should you be waiting to hear back? Firstly, if you've done your research, most agencies and personal agent blogs give an amount of time you should expect to hear back by. It can be anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months, and some say that if you don't hear back it's a no (generally that's only for queries, not manuscript requests).

So wait that amount of time before stressing. Actually don't stress at all. Just because we didn't answer, doesn't mean we hate you. It means we were so busy we didn't have time to get to your ms yet. Most likely, it's sitting happy on our e-reader, waiting, just like you. However, there is a chance it got lost and never made it to the agent. It happens. Sometimes we forget to answer. Sometimes we think we answer but actually didn't.

That's the reason for The Nudge.

The Nudge, when done properly, is perfectly acceptable and a common practice. Don't sweat it. Don't think, "OMG this agent is going to HATE me for bothering them."

No, no, no.

Here's an example of a Nudge:

Dear (agent's name),

I sent you (so many pages) of (title, genre) on (date). I'm just following up to see if you've received the materials and if you've had a chance to read it yet. Our previous correspondence is below. Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.

(closing signature)

Or some slight variation. But short, sweet, to the point. No flowery apologies, no badgering, no "look what I've done since I sent it to you, fancy awards, yippee!". If anything of significant note happens, yes you can slip it in, but by this point, it won't change my mind to whether I love your ms or not.

By the way, my response time is about 2 months. So if you haven't heard from me in 2 months, you may nudge me.

If you have any questions for my Requested Manuscripts FAQs post on Tuesday, please leave them here or on Twitter and I'll do my best to answer them all. Thanks!

Happy writing!

Wednesday Reads: Hounded

Hounded: The Iron Druid Chronicles by Kevin Hearne. A very nice change of pace from women-centered Adult Urban Fantasy, comes a rich, multi-folktale/myth, male-centered Adult Urban Fantasy. With a really cute (big) doggy.

Synopsis:

Atticus O’Sullivan, last of the Druids, lives peacefully in Arizona, running an occult bookshop and shape-shifting in his spare time to hunt with his Irish wolfhound. His neighbors and customers think that this handsome, tattooed Irish dude is about twenty-one years old—when in actuality, he’s twenty-one centuries old. Not to mention: He draws his power from the earth, possesses a sharp wit, and wields an even sharper magical sword known as Fragarach, the Answerer.

Unfortunately, a very angry Celtic god wants that sword, and he’s hounded Atticus for centuries. Now the determined deity has tracked him down, and Atticus will need all his power—plus the help of a seductive goddess of death, his vampire and werewolf team of attorneys, a sexy bartender possessed by a Hindu witch, and some good old-fashioned luck of the Irish—to kick some Celtic arse and deliver himself from evil.

First Line: "There are many perks to living for twenty-one centuries, and foremost among them is bearing witness to rare birth of genius. It invariably goes like this: Someone shrugs off the weight of his cultural traditions, ignores the baleful stares of authority, and does something his countrymen think to be completely batshit insane. Of those, Galileo was my personal favorite. Van Gogh comes in second, but he really was batshit insane."

I had to give you the full first paragraph. Atticus has a really fun, witty, at times wry, at times in your face, voice. It's always consistent, and I felt immediately connected to Atticus, despite his experience and gender. (Sometimes older beings can come off really superior and *not nice word*)

Brownie Points: I already mentioned the doggy. Who has his own awesome voice, combination silly dog and intelligent being. And yes, I said the dog has a voice. Don't worry, it isn't wacky. It ties in with Atticus's powers and works really well.

Also, I love the world. It's complex and involves names, gods, powers, and names that I've never heard of and cannot pronounce, but I was never lost. Plus, so many different myths and gods are pulled in and introduced you can't help but laugh out loud and marvel at the intricacy of it all.

Recommendation: For readers looking for a fantastic UF but a change of pace, plus a complex world and great characters. For writers, if you have a male voice that readers are unable to connect with--either too masculine for a female audience, or too feminine for a male character--you must read this.

Would I represent this? Yes! I'd love a male-centered, or even partial male-centered UF. The key to a really great UF is the world building. Must. Be. Done. Amazingly.

Happy reading!

February Requests: Format

Agents will request partial or full manuscripts in one of two ways: paste it in the email, or attach it. And it's usually pretty clear how they want it. They'll say paste or attach.

Pasting materials:

1. Hit "reply"
2. Add your note: (agent's name), Thanks for requesting (so many pages) of (title). You'll find the requested material pasted below. I look forward to hearing from you. (closing signature)
3. Press "enter" a few times
4. Go to your manuscript and copy the desired number of pages (you can go over a few to get to the end of a sentence or scene)
5. Go to your email and paste the desired pages
6. Send

Attaching materials:

1. Save the desired number of pages in a .doc document (try not to use .docx as some ereaders have difficulty reading it)
2. Don't use fancy graphics as it detracts attention from your manuscript and can show up funky on some monitors and ereaders
3. Refer to my blog post Formatting for Ereaders if you want your manuscript to look pretty whether on a computer or ereader
4. The file name you save your document under should be the title of your manuscript. Be sure your name and email is on the title page of your manuscript (so I know who it belongs to)
5. In the email thread hit "reply"
6. Add your note, (agent's name, Thank you for requesting (number of pages) of (title). The requested material is attached. I look forward to hearing from you. (closing signature)
7. Attach requested material
8. Send

It may seem pretty self explanatory, but you'd be amazed at how many people don't do this. It's simple. I need nothing else. No explanations of how you came up with the idea, how I shouldn't just the first 50 pages because it picks up after that, how much you worship the ground I walk on, etc.

Remember. Simple is good. It's your ms that needs to speak volumes. Not you.

Happy writing!

February Requests: The Return Email

I love organized chaos as much as the next person... But this is one of my biggest pet peeves. And it comes down to being an organizational issue.

Let's set it up.

You query me.
I hit "reply" and request pages.
You hit "reply" and attached requested pages.
I hit "reply" and ask for more pages, materials, etc.
You hit "reply" and send requested materials.
I hit "reply" and offer representation.
You hit "reply" and etc, etc, etc

Get the picture?

This makes it super easy on me because now I have all of our correspondence in one location, one email thread. I can easily toggle back through our conversation to refer to certain information.

Or you can do it this way.

You query me.
I hit "reply" and request pages.
You begin a new email thread with "Requested Partial" and title in the subject heading, with the original correspondence quoted in the email so I can easily refer to it, with attached or pasted pages.
I hit "reply" and ask for more pages, materials, etc.
You hit "reply" and send requested materials.
I hit "reply" and offer representation.
You hit "reply" and etc, etc, etc

In a case in which you need to inform me of an offer of representation:

You send me a query.
I "reply" and ask for a partial manuscript.
You "reply" and send pages.
I read the pages but meanwhile...
You "reply" (to the same thread of emails) and inform me that you have an offer
I "reply" and ask for the full manuscript.
You "reply" with the full.
I "reply" within the allotted time with my answer.

Or you can do it this way:

You send me a query.
I "reply" and ask for a partial manuscript.
You "reply" and send pages.
I read the pages but meanwhile...
You begin a new email thread with "Offer of Representation" in the subject, with all original correspondence between us in the email and a short note informing me of the offer.
I "reply" and ask for the full manuscript.
You "reply" with the full.
I "reply" within the allotted time with my answer.


Whew. That was hard. Not.

You should see my inbox. It's a mad house in there. If I see a new message in an email thread I've already responded to, I will pay attention to it. And it makes it really nice if I need to go back through my inbox for our correspondence and I don't need to toggle through multiple email threads for the info I need. And, hopefully, this will make it nice and easy on you too, in your own crazy writer inbox.

Now, I'm not going to write you off entirely if you deviate from my lovely setup here. But please, make it easy on everyone.

Happy writing!

Wednesday Reads: Bright Young Things

Bright Young Things by Anna Godbersen. So my December blog hiatus got an unexpected goal--read all of Godberson's available novels. I've finished the Luxe series (loved, loved, loved), and I've already read both available BYT novels (can't wait for the next!). Gobserson does history right. Her characters are so true to their time period (biggest pet peeve while reading historical novels is when a character is ahead of her time--unrealistically feminist or willful). Astrid is my favorite--she's one of those girls that, if she had existed now, you probably would have hated her guts in high school. She's selfish, naive, beautiful, out for a good time, horrible with relationships even though she's in love--yet you can't help but like her, root for her, eager to see what happens to her next, or see what she will do or say next.

Synopsis:

The year is 1929. New York is ruled by the Bright Young Things: flappers and socialites seeking thrills and chasing dreams in the anything-goes era of the Roaring Twenties.

Letty Larkspur and Cordelia Grey escaped their small Midwestern town for New York's glittering metropolis. All Letty wants is to see her name in lights, but she quickly discovers Manhattan is filled with pretty girls who will do anything to be a star. . . .
Cordelia is searching for the father she's never known, a man as infamous for his wild parties as he is for his shadowy schemes. Overnight, she enters a world more thrilling and glamorous than she ever could have imagined—and more dangerous. It's a life anyone would kill for . . . and someone will.
The only person Cordelia can trust is ­Astrid Donal, a flapper who seems to have it all: money, looks, and the love of Cordelia's brother, Charlie. But Astrid's perfect veneer hides a score of family secrets.
Across the vast lawns of Long Island, in the ­illicit speakeasies of Manhattan, and on the blindingly lit stages of Broadway, the three girls' fortunes will rise and fall—together and apart. From the New York Times bestselling author of The Luxe comes an epic new series set in the dizzying last summer of the Jazz Age.

First Line From Prologue: "It is easy to forget now, how effervescent and free we all felt that summer." Another reason I love Godberson's novels--her narrative voice is at the same time whimsy and straightforward, easy to connect with despite the 3rd person narrative, very indicative of a gossip column of the time. And each prologue of each book gives you a taste of what to expect--which makes you want to read even though you don't really know what is going to actually happen. 

First Line From first chapter: "The handful of wedding guests were already assembled in the clapboard Lutheran church on Main Street, and though they had been waiting for a quarter hour, any stray passerby might have noticed a lone girl still loitering outside." Like, whoa. I'm not giving anything away here. Cordelia is such a rich character, and Godberson such a clever writer. Most writers, I'm sure, when in a situation with a character who does not wish to be married, would have them leave before the wedding. Ah, no, not Cordelia. She's selfish, but you feel her pain and desires so acutely.

Brownie Points: The characters. I've already gushed. But they're so rich, so complex. Products of their time, written in a way we all can relate to them.

Recommendation: Everyone should read it. Historical at its best.

Would I represent it? Yes!

Happy reading!

Happy Valentines Day!

I'm interrupting you from our regularly scheduled programming to direct yourself attention to fun stuff.

Namely, Oasis for YA: YAmore Blogfest. Writers were encouraged to post 250 words of a swoon worthy scene from one of their projects  over the weekend.

I, uh, might have read them all over the weekend. It was just so much fun!

Two of my favorites, of course, were from two of my clients which I think everyone should check out because. Well. Wow. Katy Upperman's is a scene of, not so much forbidden, as wrong in all the right ways, and ya, read it here. Taryn Albright's scene is from the ms that I signed her for, and the characters are hilariously rational, read it here.

To celebrate Valentine's Day, I'm going to settle in with some chocolate pie tonight and read about some star-crossed zombie lovers (don't worry, I'll Wednesday Reads it sooner rather than later).

How are you celebrating?!

What's your favorite all time romance?

What's going on in the blog and Twitter world today, Valentine's related, that everyone should know about?

Happy loving!

February Requests: The Note

Let's start February Request month with what I like to call The Note. It's not a letter. Not an explanation.

When an agent requests some pages from you, 20, 50, 100, the whole thing, you attach (or paste in the email as instructed) the pages and add a note in the email.

A Note.

Why do I repeat myself? Because some people use it as an opportunity to explain why I shouldn't be put off by the first few pages and if I just push through I'll see why it's so great, or where and when they came up with the idea, or that it's based on a part of their life that meant so much to them, or a million other little things that frankly, the agent neither needs nor cares to know.

You know the expression, you never get a second chance at a first impression? Or first impressions matter most? Don't forget, second, third, fourth, fifth impressions matter too. Let us fall in love with your manuscript and start seeing dollar signs before you let the crazy out of the bag. Go back to my "don't" list for queries (here and here). These will apply to almost every step of the process. Forever.

So, the Note.

(agent's name),
Thank you for requesting (title). The (so many) pages are attached. I look forward to hearing more from you.
(closing signature)

Ain't it purty? Of course, put your own spin on it. You don't have to use my exact words. The agent has already decided he/she is going to read your ms, so you just have to deliver and wait. You can add more personal notes if you have a deeper connection to the agent (for example, it makes me smile if a writer references a joke we've shared on Twitter), but again, not necessary. Most likely I'll forget who you are once I start reading the ms. You don't exist.

Why should it matter if you're professional or not since I don't care about you while I read? Because I care about you after I read. Or, in some cases, a very unprofessional writer can turn me off from reading their ms at all--because I already know I don't want to work with them.

Happy writing!

Wednesday Reads: Nightfall

I started this book sometime in the middle of the day a couple weekends ago, got through a good portion, read some more in bed and... stayed up till four in the morning to finish it. Nightfall: A Dark Age Dawning novel by Ellen Conner. Adult Post-Apocalyptic Paranormal Romance.

Synoctopus:

Their instincts will save them.
Their passion will transform them.

Growing up with an unstable, often absent father who preached about the end of the world, Jenna never thought, in her wildest nightmares, that his predictions would come true. Or that he would have a plan in place to save her-one that includes the strong, stoic man who kidnaps and takes her to a remote cabin in the Pacific Northwest.

The mysterious ex-Marine named Mason owes a life-debt to Jenna's father. Skilled and steadfast, he's ready for the Change, but Jenna proves tough to convince. Until the power grid collapses and the mutant dogs attack-vicious things that reek of nature gone wrong.

When five strangers appear, desperate to escape the bloodthirsty packs, Jenna defies her protector and rescues them. As technology fails and the old world falls away, Jenna changes too, forever altered by supernatural forces. To fight for their future, she and Mason must learn to trust their instinctive passion-a flame that will see them through the bitter winter, the endless nights, and the violence of a new Dark Age. 

First Line:
From Prologue: "In the mid-twenty-first century, the power grid collapsed." Begins with a brief history of the world. Somewhat necessary, not too thrilling.
From First Chapter:
""Don't move."
The hot rush of breath against her nape made Jenna juggle her keys and then drop them."
Starts off right away with Jenna, wily, calculating, endearing, sarcastic, and Mason, her for-her-own-good kidnapper. There really isn't a better way to start a ParaRom, is there? Kidnapping? Duct tape? End of the world?

Brownie Points: One of my favorite of all time romance story lines: woman tames man, teaches him how to get in touch with his softer side, man heals woman's soul. With demon dogs, hilarious spare characters, and a main character who ends up being more badass than the guy (in my opinion).

Beefs: Have I ever mentioned that I hate epilogues? I might have only just realized that. Not that this one ruined the book or anything, it was actually a very nice epilogue. But I can do without them.

Recommendation: If you're getting sick of vampire romance, or contemporary paranormal romance, try this on for size. It'll have you at the edge of your seat (their lives are in danger every single moment).

Would I represent it? Yes! Creative. Sexy. Great character growth. Great spare character personalities (you can always tell the strength of your characters by the weakest link). It's exactly the kind of ParaRom I'd love to work with.

Happy reading!

February Requests

Last month was query month. This month, I'll talk about specifics once your ms full or partial is requested. This will cover email etiquette, stalking etiquette, formats for submitting, what to do while you wait, etc.

But first, I want to reiterate something I mentioned in my Query FAQs. I calculated a .19% chance of being signed from the slush pile. But then I negated all of that awesome math with this:

HOWEVER. If your query is captivating, you've done your homework, your writing is solid, your characters unbelievable (in a believable sort of way), and your plot rockin, you will get noticed and signed. Which is to say, it's not about luck at all--it's about passion, dedication, and skill.

Are you guys getting sick of people telling you to keep persevering? If at first you don't succeed, try, try again? People say it, because it's true. As callous as it may sound, if you're not being published, it's because you're not ready, because your writing isn't at the same level as those who are getting published. But that's not to say you can't get there. Or that published authors haven't been where you are now.

Also, remember. If you're at this stage, your query is getting requests, that means agents like your idea. Your pitch. You. That's half the game (maybe an eighth). Coming up with an idea to captivate your audience.

Happy writing!

Cupid's February Blog Contest

If you're looking for an amazing contest in which agents fight over your work, check out Cupid's BLIND SPEED DATING.

You may remember I mentioned I was in Cupid's January contest against John Cusick, and we found some amazing entries. Plus, the trash talk was fun.

I had so much fun I'm participating again. This time against TEN OTHER AGENTS.

There are two windows of opportunity to submit your work for this month's contest TODAY AND TOMORROW.

The contest is open for ADULT, YA, and MG.

Go to Cupid's Literary Connection here for more details.

Hope to see you in the ring.

Happy fighting--I mean writing!

Wednesday Reads: Anna Dressed in Blood

Anna Dressed in Blood by Kendare Blake. I was pleasantly surprised with this one. Boy narrators are really tricky to get right (I don't like it when they're so over the top boy--gross, sex obsessed--that they don't appeal to a wide range of readers), but Cas was very relatable. Confident in himself and he knows how to blend into new places to get a job done--then of course we watch as he encounters something new and has to find his way through it while staying true to himself. (by the way, I'm in love with the cover--there is just something about black and white and red that gets me every time)

Synopsis:

Cas Lowood has inherited an unusual vocation: He kills the dead.

So did his father before him, until he was gruesomely murdered by a ghost he sought to kill. Now, armed with his father's mysterious and deadly athame, Cas travels the country with his kitchen-witch mother and their spirit-sniffing cat. Together they follow legends and local lore, trying to keep up with the murderous dead—keeping pesky things like the future and friends at bay.
When they arrive in a new town in search of a ghost the locals call Anna Dressed in Blood, Cas doesn't expect anything outside of the ordinary: track, hunt, kill. What he finds instead is a girl entangled in curses and rage, a ghost like he's never faced before. She still wears the dress she wore on the day of her brutal murder in 1958: once white, now stained red and dripping with blood. Since her death, Anna has killed any and every person who has dared to step into the deserted Victorian she used to call home.
But she, for whatever reason, spares Cas's life. 

First Line: "The grease-slicked hair is a dead giveaway--no pun intended." Cas is so matter of fact about death and ghosts, it eases you right into the supernatural without making a huge deal out of it. Plus, the beginning scene is a huge Save the Cat moment, while staying true to his character.

Brownie Points: I'm going to give it to Anna actually. A ghost, by the way. Blake does a fabulous job at making Anna so human, but we never once forget that she is, in fact, a ghost.

Recommendation: If you think all paranormals and supernaturals have gone the way of Twilight, guess again. And read Anna. I think you'll be suckered in.

Would I represent it? I do have a ghost story on my list already, however if it's unique and unlike anything I'd ever read (while being everything I love in a ghost story) I'd definitely take a look. Possibly a tall order, but that's why I love writers you know. As for Anna, if she had been in my inbox, I'd definitely would have snatched it up.

Happy reading!

January Query Time: FAQs

Thanks to everyone who submitted their questions. Below you'll find a lovely list of Query Frequently Asked Questions. (and yes, these are very, very frequently asked, so I'm glad to finally have a post dedicated to them)

• If I have no fiction credentials, what do I put in the author bio in the query? Can I leave it off?
• Yes! Just leave it off. The agent doesn't need to hear about how you've been writing since you were six or how you were inspired by your dog. Leaving it blank won't reflect badly on you at all. It will make your query simple and to the point (which I do love).
• For the "summary" part of the query, what sort of word count do you like to see?
• Great question! Let's see... I'd say 150-300 words would be good for the summary. That's not counting the intro, thanks, and bio. Back cover blurbs (like the "synopsis" I post each week for Wednesday Reads) tend to run about 100-200. You can get good practice by trying to write a 100, 200, and 300 word blurb and see which works best.
• I have a series planned, but the first novel is a standalone. Do I mention that?
• It could matter less to me if you have a series or a single book--the writing has to prove it first and the idea of the first book needs to intrigue me enough to read it. But ya, you can mention it. (title) is the first planned book of the series (series title) but is a stand alone. Don't spend any more time than that on it.
• How do I query a novel that is part of a series (not a stand alone, cliff hanger, etc)? 
• Again, mention that it's part of a series. You don't have to inform us that there is a cliff hanger. My reasoning is, either we're interested in the idea for this one book (and will therefore want to see more) or we won't be. Then when we get to the manuscript, either we'll read all the way to the end and love your writing, or we won't. We'll cross the "change the ending or leave it" bridge when we get to it.
• Should I mention if I'm currently under contract for publication?
• Yes. Even if it's a small press, it will show the agent two things. One: someone wants you. Two: you have the dedication to do whatever it takes. Be sure to say who the publisher is, when you'll be published, and the genre.
• Should I mention if I was previously agented (but parted amicably)?
• Yes. More likely than not, it'll move your query out of the slush pile and earn you a quicker response. Someone has already vetted that you're worth the deeper look, so we pay attention. Ask your prior agent if you can name drop him/her. If it's a big name we all recognize, you'll get a fast response.
• Do I mention if I have self published (a book I'm not currently querying)?
• Sure! Again, it shows your dedication. If your sale numbers were high, you especially want to mention that.
• What do I need to include if I'm seeking representation for a self published book?
• Firstly, think hard about your goals before you self pub. Are you looking to be the next Amanda Hocking? That takes a lot of dedication and marketing and writing several books in a short period of time. If your sale numbers are very low and/or your book is more than 6 months old, that reflects badly on your dedication. You need to include the synopsis, sale numbers, pub date, avenue of publication, and links so we can check it out if we so desire (Amazon, Barnes&Noble, etc). If you have any quotes or recommendations from notable authors, include that.
• What's your average number of queries rejected? Week? Month? Year?
• I get approx 10 queries a day (depending on time of year, blog exposure, conferences, etc). I might request materials from 1 of those queries. Say 70 queries a week might get 5 requests (that's a 93% rejection rate). Let's go with that 93%, so out of the 3,640 queries I get a year, that's 3,385 queries rejected, only 255 requested. And I'd say, approximately, I might read more than 50 pages on 30 of those (I think I'm being very generous on that number). Last year, I offered on 8 manuscripts--7 of which came from queries. So, approximately, you have a 0.19% chance of being signed from the slush pile. 
• HOWEVER. If your query is captivating, you've done your homework, your writing is solid, your characters unbelievable (in a believable sort of way), and your plot rockin, you have a superb chance at getting noticed and signed. Which is to say, it's not about luck at all--it's about passion, dedication, and skill.
• How important is it that I draw comparison between my work and that of others? (readers of X would enjoy this; my ms is Y meets Z)
• Besides showing your ability to follow directions, it also shows you know your market and have done your homework (dedication and easy to work with). Agents can usually spot the market intended through your genre and query, but in case it's not clear we need that extra information. However, if the comparison is unclear (I can't picture what Happy Feet meets Gangs of New York would entail--thanks Rick for the awesomeness) or is obvious that you don't know what you're talking about (if you use thrillers to describe your ChickLit), it can hurt you. I have seen queries which I loved, but the comparison line drove it home with such ingenuity and (what I like to call) the YES! factor, leading me to read the ms as soon as I received it. In most cases, the comparison is bland and obvious (I definitely know a Sarah Dessen look-a-like when I see one), but it will neither help nor hinder your query. If I'm interested, I'm interested.
• What sort of comparisons work best?
• There are lots of different sorts. There's the MovieA meets MovieB. BookA meets BookB. If done well, you can do MovieA meets BookB. The always fun If AuthorA had a baby with AuthorB. You see the list goes on and on. Honestly, no one format works best. It has to be true to you and your ms. Try out several on friends, critique partners, strangers, Tweeps, fellow conference attendees, to see what works best.
• How do I write a synopsis for my 130k book? I'm trying to condense it but there is too much to talk about.
• Firstly, the word count is too high. For any genre. Unless you're a tried and true author and you've had your name on the New York Times Bestseller list. Most likely the reason you have too much to talk about, is because there is too much to talk about. If the plot is solid, and no extraneous characters or info, the synopsis should follow smoothly. As for how to write a synopsis, all I can suggest is try, try, try again. Write a one page synopsis, and a longer synopsis because agents request different lengths. There is a lot of info out there on how to write a synopsis (Google it).
• I queried a manuscript to some agents a few months ago, but have completely rewritten the manuscript, leaving only a few things the same (title, characters name, etc). Can I query those same agents with this "new" manuscript now? How do I inform them I'm querying a fully revised manuscript?
• I'm assuming they only have the query, not the partial. If so, then no, don't tell them. If you've included sample pages with your query, when they request to see more pages you can include a note to let them know you've revised so the first pages won't look the same. A revised ms will not sway them to read it based on the query; either they're interested in the idea or not. If they have the ms already, and you want them to read the revised, you can try, you have nothing to lose. But I'd recommend against it. When you query agents, leave your ms alone. Don't touch it. Work on something else. Only when they've all responded do you revise. It makes the process less complicated, gets you working on something else to get ready to send out, and gives you distance from the ms for a better revision.
• You suggested in an earlier post to include your website in your query. Does a blog count or should I invest in a big fancy author website?
• Below your name, in your signature, you can include your blog link, Twitter link, and anything else that is pertinent and relevant. You do not need to make a fancy author site. You do not need to include these things in the body of the query (bio section). It takes up space and attention. It's much less intrusive in the signature and if I care to, I'll click it myself (don't say, here's my site for you to check out, ugh). If you have an extraordinary amount of followers or views, you can include that in your bio. I also like to know if you're in any special blog groups (ie, YA Confidential, Bookinistas, YA Highway, etc), that you can include in the bio.
• Do I need to tell you about my pen name? Or use only my pen name?
• Honestly, I find pen names annoying in queries. You're not hiding your identity from me (I hope) so don't sign that way. In your signature, you can include w/a pen name (meaning, writing as). Do not tell me in your query that you're writing under another name, and for the love of the world, don't explain to me how you came up with the name. We can deal with pen names when we get there.
• When I send an update to agents with my manuscript to let them know I have an offer, do I tell them the name of the agent?
• No! At least, I hate knowing and I think it looks unprofessional. If an agent specifically asks, you may tell them, but they don't need to know. Here's why I don't like knowing. Publishing is often referred to as a big family; we all know each other. And if my agent friend is the offering agent, I may back off on it to be nice. Or, to certain agents, I'll offer only because I feel like I'm in competition with them. I like to be perfectly blind and think only about myself and this timeline I have to decide against.

Happy writing!

January Query Time: What to include

Now we get to the particulars.

I find the list of "what to include in your query" to be much shorter than the "do not" list. Here's what you need: salutation with agent's name, about two paragraphs (3-6 sentences each) of summary/back cover blurb, briefly about the author, sign out.

Your query should look something like this:

Dear (name of agent),

about the ms

little more about the ms--word count and genre included

about the author

Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

(name)
(email)
(website if applicable)
OR your usual closing signature

Nice and clean, right? This is my favorite sort of query. It launches right into the book with the main character, a tiny bit of world building if it's fantasy, sci-fi, dystopian, etc, the main struggle, love interest. Done. The author bio is in first or third person (no preference) and includes relevant information.

You can also do another format:

Dear (name),

(title) is a (word count) (genre). I'm submitting to you because you mentioned on your blog you want to see more (genre) queries/you like (specific book)/you represent (specific author)/my friend is your client-mother-brother-co-worker. One line hook.

about the ms

little about the author

Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

(name)
(email)
(website if applicable)
OR your usual closing signature

Note the use of the word SPECIFIC several times throughout the opening paragraph. I can always tell when someone hasn't actually done their research. If you like my blog or I've mentioned liking one of your comparable titles or we've met somewhere, be specific. Anyone can say "I like your blog, here's my query." (Yes, it's happened.)

Your "about the ms" should be simple and to the point. By simple, I mean use simple sentences. Don't get fancy. Agents read a lot of queries daily, and I for one tend to skim-read--if I find something of interest, I slow down. But if your sentences are too long, packed with info, convoluted, I can't retain as much info as quickly (and there's a good bet your ms will look like that too). By "to the point," I mean get in and get out. Here's an example:

(name of main character) is (brief description). She's thrust into (main conflict). She must rely on (love interest) which is an issue because (personal dilemma). (evil character) will stop at nothing to (what's at stake).

Your query is obviously going to be more involved. But there are the main points you need to hit.

• Why should we care about you main character? Who is she/he? How will we connect with him/her?
• What's her life like before the problem?
• What and how does the main conflict get thrust upon her?
• Who is the love interest? Or other character of large importance--keep this absolutely limited to one or two people (three on occasion). You don't want to bombard the agent with info and characters; also, it takes to long to portray their significance and "why we should care."
• Who is the bad guy? This can be grouped up there with the main conflict. Remember your "man vs man" "man vs self" "man vs nature" from third grade.
• What's at stake? Vitally important. Is the world going to implode? Is the main character going to lose her family? Her sanity? Her self respect? The chance to avenge her father?

Read back cover blurbs of books. Seriously. Sit in a bookstore aisle and pull books off the shelves. Note how they draw you in, first to the character, then to the conflict. And notice how brief it is. For the books that you read, note how many subplots and characters get left out. It's necessary. Which is also a good reason to have critique partners help you, and you help them. It gives you perspective.

Ask all the questions you want to ask. Next week, I'll answer them.

Happy writing!

Query Homework

Tomorrow I'll post my January Query post on what to include in a query.

Today I want to direct your attention to an awesome new contest blog, Cupid's Literary Connection, that John Cusick and I just participated on--a love triangle contest--not about love triangles. We battled each other for the best entries.

The reason I'm talking about this instead of my planned January Query topic, is because I'm giving you homework. Go to Cupid's site here and check it out. Read the entries. See the comments. And see which ones John and I picked. It's a great insight into the agent mind and what we're looking for.

Also, the queries are written well and are all to the point (exactly the sort of query I love). It's also a great opportunity for you to try out your query and get feedback. Look for future contests. Next month is Blind Speed Dating (just got your interest, didn't it?).

Happy writing!

Wednesday Reads: Chihuahua Karma

I know I don't normally review e-books, but this one was just so splendid! Adorable, quirky cast of characters, and will make you believe in true love. It could be described as a beach read, a cozy sort of women's/romance (yes, the /romance is necessary because while Cherry is driven by love, there are few actual romantic scenes--you'll see why), a supernatural love story gone awry. That sort of thing.

Chihuahua Karma by Debby Rice. Find here on Amazon or here on Barnes and Noble.

Synopsis:

 When socialite Cherry discovers her husband Larry has been cheating, she gulps down a fist-full of Vicoden with a bottle of wine for breakfast and accidentally falls of her penthouse terrace. She wakes in the body of a mini chihuahua, Sugar, belonging to the corner laundry. Though pocket size, Cherry is not without her wits, and manages to find her way back into her old life--as the pocket buddy of Larry's new girlfriend.

In her diminished state, Cherry finds new perspective. She yearns for Richard, a love she gave up years ago in favor of Larry's Black American Express card. And she forms an unlikely alliance with Don Paco Fernandez, a temperamental ghost with a taste for tequila and pretty ladies. Through Don Paco, Cherry discovers that only she can save an orphaned child from her impending adoption by a sinister couple. She can only hope that the tiny body she inhabits can be effective enough to set to right wrongs she committed in her former life.

The size of Sugar--but imagine her wearing Chi-couture

First Sentence: "I was young, beautiful and rich--just golden enough to imagine that I had the world by the balls." Cherry has all sorts of hilarious insights like this. She starts out on top of the world, a woman and character that you really can't like, but makes the beautiful redemption into a good, honest person--er, dog. I want to give you the first few sentences though, because it sets up the story so nicely and Cherry's voice shines through.

"I was young, beautiful and rich--just golden enough to imagine that I had the world by the balls. Death was the furthest thing from my mind. But even a morbid obsession with the afterlife could not have prepared me for what happened.

"I was murdered on a beautiful summer day. Technically it was an accident. Larry didn't get his hands dirty. He drove me crazy, and I did the rest."

Brownie Points: Sugar. Even though Sugar herself has no personality, simply being a mini-chi is hilarious. It's the way people treat Cherry while she's Sugar--outfits, dog carriers, baby voices. It's an insight into the world of miniature dogs that makes you want to simultaneously gag and coo over how adorable they are.

Recommendation: The book would appeal to fans of The Devil Wears Prada and The Nanny Diaries, as well as fun beach reads, chick-flicks, and anything dog related. I urge you to give this one a chance. You'll be laughing out loud on every page.

Would I represent it? I'd love to work with a book with a host of characters as fun as this one. It's not exactly in my looking-for genres, but I would definitely keep an open mind to supernatural quirky contemporaries.

Happy reading!

January Query Time: What not to include

I'll try to keep on topic and off of rants and fun stories about horrible queries I've seen. Like this one time...

We've discussed why a query is important, what it is, what it's not. Here's a handy list of what not to include. Thursday will be what to include, how to format, etc.

• Apologies. Nothing turns me off more than a writer apologizing for taking up my time. Or telling me how swamped I am. Or being humble, or anything like that. In this regard, keep it impersonal. Formal.
• Aggression. Don't blame me for you being rejected. Don't blame readers or publishers or the state of the economy. Besides distracting me from the important stuff--the query--it makes me not want to work with you.
• Excuses. If you make an excuse for why your word count is too long, just don't query. If you find yourself needing to explain the first few pages or why you need to get past the first fifty to really get into the story, you shouldn't be querying. You know deep, deep, deep down that there's something wrong. We want a close-to-finished-you-slaved-over-it-went-to-classes-and-had-beta-readers-read-it query/ms.
• Don't tell me it's been professionally edited or that your friend who's an English major has edited it. And especially don't tell me that you'll have it edited if I think that's best. (you should be getting the gist--get to the query)
• You don't need a hook. My preference is getting straight to the query. And don't introduce it with, "Thanks for your time. Here's my query..." or "Now, on to the query!" 
• If you use a hook, please, please, please, keep it to one line. Two at most. If the sentence is overly wrought or too long, I get bored. It's TELLING not SHOWING. Your query SHOWS, you TELL.
• To introduce your author bio just say, "I've been published by (specific publisher, name of book, year of publication)" or "I'm a member of (specific organizations)." Etc. Don't say, "Now, a little about me." Again, it's distracting (you won't get automatically rejected if you break this rule--my rule--but do keep it in mind).
• Don't say you've been writing for years, since you were a little kid, just quit your job to write full time, your mother loves your stories, etc. It looks amateurish. If you have nothing in your bio, thank the agent for his/her time and close.
• Don't offer an exclusive. Don't say who it's currently out with.
• I don't care if you tell me it's a simultaneous submission. I assume it is--it's a smart practice. I hate finally getting to a query after a month only to find out I was the only one it was submitted to. I made you wait a month before you could get to anyone else! Remember my job-application metaphor? Would you put in an application for only one job at a time and wait until they got back to you?

Get to the query. Have you ever called someone up or visited someone and you just need one bit of information from them? You make a little polite chitchat and suddenly you can't get away from the person. And before you know it, you know all their woes and the name of their first dog--fluffy-kins. It was a rottweiler. Agents are looking for that one bit of information--not the extras. That can come later with the phone call.

Last week, I said that the query is not a business letter. Particularly, I was thinking about the header you include on business letters--your address, my address, etc. Maybe in the days of old, when people still used snail mail, that was common practice for queries. But you don't need it (also, it's a telltale if you didn't do your research; for example, our agency has moved its main offices from CA to WA, so if you use the old address, I know you're not doing your research). It's distracting. You won't get rejected over it, but most of my advice this month tends to be towards the "cleaner and tighter, the better". (I'm going to talk more about this business letter thing next week--it deserves the attention.)

More on Thursday.

Happy writing!

January Query Time: What it's not

Now we now why a query is important and what it is. But what isn't it?

It's not:

• A synopsis
• An apology
• Begging
• A mass letter
• One line asking the agent to look at the attached materials
• Two lines asking if the agent is accepting queries
• Three lines asking what sort of genres the agent accepts
• Unaddressed
• A business letter
• A letter to a friend
• A solicitation
• A complaint
• An opportunity to sell me your self-pubbed book
• An opportunity to brag
• An opportunity to blame
• An opportunity to whine

Wow, that was actually a lot of fun.

Next week, I'll go over what to include in a query and what not to include. If I don't cover something vitally important or you'd like a clarification, please leave a comment.

Happy writing!

Wednesday Reads: Lola and the Boy Next Door

Normally, I don't review sequels or second books in series, but Lola really isn't a sequel. It's a companion novel to Anna and the French Kiss (you may remember my review here), and Anna is in it as minor-ish character. But Lola stands on her own. In all her shining, glittery glory. Stephanie Perkins is officially one of my favorite authors.

Oh, and I happened to like Lola more than Anna. Not that I didn't enjoy Anna. I did enjoy my 300 page trip to Paris. I was just able to connect with Lola way more. There's a scared teenage girl locked inside of me who really wants to wear crazy clothes and wigs every day.

Synopsis:

Budding designer Lola Nolan doesn't believe in fashion . . . she believes in costume. The more expressive the outfit - more sparkly, more fun, more wild - the better. But even though Lola's style is outrageous, she's a devoted daughter and friend with some big plans for the future. And everything is pretty perfect (right down to her hot rocker boyfriend) until the dreaded Bell twins, Calliope and Cricket, return to the neighborhood.

When Cricket - a gifted inventor - steps out from his twin sister's shadow and back into Lola's life, she must finally reconcile a lifetime of feelings for the boy next door.

First Sentence: "I have three simple wishes."

It's not a book about genies. It's actually a very straightforward way to start the book, but Lola's voice immediately shines through. And here's what I mean by that: if you mix a bunch of first pages together, anyone who has an inkling of an idea who Lola is, will not mistake the first page for another character. Here's more of the first page to give you an idea.

"I have three simple wishes. That's really not too much to ask.
The first is to attend the winter formal dressed like Marie Antoinette. I want a wig so elaborate it could cage a bird and a dress so wide I'll only be able to enter the dance through a set of double doors. But I'll hold my dress high as I arrive to reveal a pair of platform combat boots, so everyone can see that, under the frills, I'm punk-rock tough."

The next two wishes briefly touch on the two major conflicts of the novel (her neighbors and her boyfriend). The first page is very successful in laying out voice and conflict, being just enough in-your-face to emulate Lola and get the plot rolling, without being Telling.

Brownie Points: Well, the entire book. Besides that?

Lola's parents. They're gay. But here's what I love about this. It's not a novel about having gay parents. She just happens to have loving parents who don't always agree with her choices but allow her to live her own life--and they just happen to be two men. Plus, she lives in San Francisco (just like in Anna, Lola is very successful with setting as a character), which was a great choice for setting. If it'd been set in a small town, not only would Lola be seen as more eccentric, but her parents might have been an issue. It's done beautifully.

Recommendation: Everyone should read it. If you like YA even a little bit, or Adult contemporary for that matter, you should read it. It's a highly successful novel with a highly successful character. I suggest you start with Anna, it's a fabulous read, then Lola, then anything else Perkins ever produces.

Would I represent it? Yes, yes, yes! What have I been talking about? Character. Plot. Setting. It's all golden.

Happy reading!

January Query Time: What it is

I'll spend more time on this next week, getting down into the particulars. But for an overview...

A QUERY IS a brief overview of your manuscript, a back cover blurb, designed to intrigue an agent or editor to read more, and can incorporate important highlights of your author bio.

Imagine you're looking for a job.

Haunting, I know.

You put together your resume, cover letter, and list of job opportunities. Sounding familiar? Your query is, in essence, an application.

Now, imagine you're in HR looking to hire a new employee. You have one job available and 500 applicants (we're in a recession, aren't we?). 450 go into the immediate NO pile because they're not qualified, the job is wrong for them, or something about their first few lines just turns you off. The remaining 50 dwindle after a closer look, probably for many of the same reasons above, they just weren't that obvious on the surface. Say you call 10 people back. Three never respond, one can't make the interview. 6 are left. You interview them. Maybe a second interview. Maybe you have another colleague interview them as well.

If you're lucky, one of those candidates are exactly what you're looking for. So you hire them.

How long does the average employer spend on each application if they have a stack just staring at them? Not long.

On Thursday, What a Query Isn't.

Happy writing!